he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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