Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
