just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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