Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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