we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize