I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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