I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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