talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
