I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
