Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
