ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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