I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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