adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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