I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
