i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
