i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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