Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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