Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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