Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
there was a trapeze. enough said
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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