I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
