Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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