WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
...so i touched it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She told me I should be a condom model.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just high enough for therapy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
