Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
