Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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