Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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