Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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