I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the day after is always just damage control
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
they're like a gay fantastic four
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
