I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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