It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize