is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
