How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
