How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
