Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
