jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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