If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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