i used baking grease as lip gloss
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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