I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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