The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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