I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
