Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
