Jerry, you need to find god
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
