your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize