At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
