Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I checked into jail on foursquare
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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