I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions