what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.