Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

what's for breakfast?

(678): View more from Georgia

Advil and throwup

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(269): View more from Michigan

I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.

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(813): View more from Florida

so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw

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(214): View more from Texas

She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

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(214): View more from Texas

I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me

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(716): View more from New York

Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.

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