Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she told me i tasted like america
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
