Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.