bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
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I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why did my mother make you get naked?