Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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