Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
