I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize