Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
