M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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