so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
