Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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