Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
