girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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