when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
