She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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