I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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