Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
How's work?
Spinning.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
