we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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