I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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