Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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