She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
