At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I will die if light touches me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
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Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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