I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
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i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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